Boris Johnson wins The Spectator's President Erdogan Offensive Poetry competition - Spectator.co.uk (blog)

I'm comfortable to announce that we now have a winner of The Spectator's President Erdogan Offensive Poetry competitors, and right here it's:

There become a young fellow from Ankara

Who turned into a very good wankerer

until he sowed his wild oats

With the help of a goat

however he didn't even stop to thankera.

The writer of this winning entry is former Mayor of London and chief Brexiteer, Boris Johnson MP.

i am sure there may be those that claim here's a sew-up. i'm conscious that Boris's entry commits two solecisms. Amid the primary deluge of entries I intemperately introduced (by the use of Twitter) a unilateral ban on this rhyme for 'Ankara'. I also think Boris should still have settled both on 'goats' and 'oats' or 'goat' and 'oat'. As a classical student himself he need to understand that the rhyme is not completely ideal and that on such occasions one must find a means across the difficulty and easily go together with the plural both instances or no longer at all.

then again, i'm the Vizier of this competitors and what I say goes. despite attempting to follow Erdogan's illustration I haven't snaffled all of the prize money for myself. and i am rather certain – even though have yet to ascertain with him – that the former London Mayor will fortunately give his prize cash of £a thousand to a deserving charity. There are a number of charities whose giving particulars i'll urge on Boris within the coming days. but for myself the enchantment of Boris's entry was there from the outset. definitely there have been improved poems. For bound there were filthier ones (and may I take this chance to congratulate the person who got the term 'dirty trombone' into their entry? the invention that some thing referred to as a 'Turkey slap' already exists additionally impressed a couple of readers to new poetic heights).

but this award is fully anti-meritocratic. For myself, I consider it an attractive factor that a British political leader has proven that Britain will not bow before the putative Caliph in Ankara. Erdogan might also imprison his opponents in Turkey. Chancellor Merkel might also imprison Erdogan's critics in Germany. however in Britain we nevertheless are living and breathe free. We need no international potentate to inform us what we may also feel or say. And we want no decide (peculiarly no German choose) to coach us over what we can also discover funny.

For these of you who haven't been following the story, here is the hyperlink which explains why we are operating the competitors.